


Caeneus

by First_Times (BisexualHannibalLecter)



Series: My Poems [19]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Free Verse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Poetry, Trans Male Character, Underage Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23979568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BisexualHannibalLecter/pseuds/First_Times
Summary: A poem I wrote between 1 and 2 in the morning about my childhood trauma.
Series: My Poems [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/548488
Kudos: 6





	Caeneus

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I did say in the last story I posted that I was taking a six week hiatus to focus on school work. I lied, I've been sleeping a lot and slacking off because of depression. Here's a trauma poem.
> 
> Please heed the tags, this is very heavy and potentially triggering, even though much of it is vague/allusions. 
> 
> For those of you wondering about the title, Caeneus is a figure of Greek mythology who was born a woman. He was raped by Poseidon, who then granted him a wish. Caeneus wished to become a man. My transness is not a direct result of the sexual trauma I suffered, but I love symbolism.

_I._

_She’s only five and_

_She’s on her stomach and_

_They’re in a dog cage and_

_There’s pine straw on the ground and_

_He’s pulling down his pants and_

_He’s telling her what to do and_

_She doesn’t understand._

_But she opens her mouth and_

_She does what she’s asked and_

_They’re hidden behind the shed and_

_They pretend nothing happened and_

_She never forgets what happened._

_But she tries to._

  
  


_II._

_She’s only fourteen and_

_She’s on his lap and_

_They’re in a bathroom stall and_

_There’s blue paint peeling off the door and_

_He’s pulling her shirt up and_

_He’s kissing her mouth and_

_She doesn’t want it._

_But she closes her mouth and_

_She doesn’t protest and_

_They finally pull away and_

_They finally go back to class and_

_She tries to forget about it._

_But she can still feel his hands on her._

  
  


_III._

_She isn’t herself anymore and_

_She was never herself and_

_Now she’s not She._

_Now she’s He_

_And he’s still hurting_

_And he’s still remembering._

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, please leave a kudos! Comments are super appreciated! If you want to find/follow/friend me on other platforms, here are my usernames! Don’t be shy! 
> 
> @bisexywill on Tumblr (Main Blog)  
> @bisexual-hannibal-lecter on Tumblr (Writing Blog)  
> @bisexywill on Twitter (Writing Updates & Stuff)  
> @baby mongoose#6953 on Discord


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